The Love Guru DRAMA

The first rule of any movie junket is don’t talk about the movie junket — especially what the publicists instruct interviewers not to talk about. But perhaps because no extra expense was involved to meet Mike Myers on his old home turf, Peter Howell of the Toronto Star let slip that reporters were told not to ask about two subjects: the end of Myers’ marriage, and religious criticism of The Love Guru.

Following three months of often ham-fisted attempts to humiliate Myers for poking fun at Hinduism — based on the trailer, website and other advance promotional materials for the spoof, which opens on Friday — turns out Nevada chaplain Rajan Zed didn’t get his wish to pre-screen the movie, after all.

Zed expressed his disappointment today on his “On Faith” weblog at washingtonpost.com. Promised by Paramount Pictures in March that it was their “full intention” to provide an advance look at the finished print, Zed’s cranking up the opposition might have backfired, as the studio declined to follow through.

While he’s not interested in addressing the subject now, last week Myers earnestly explained his character Guru Pitka’s inspiration to Entertainment Tonight Canada.

“This is a movie about a teaching called DRAMA: distract, aggress, adjust, mature and to put it all into actions. It’s like the force, it’s like a mythical belief, teaching system that was designed entirely about loving yourself, and I spent a lot of time developing it to give it its unique feel. It worked out as a mnemonic and all that stuff, and it happens to be something I believe in.

“I believe that the only way out is in, and you are responsible for your own health and happiness.”

Similar explanations were offered to other reporters during the Los Angeles junket. An interview published at About.com gets deeper into how Myers first encountered Deepak Chopra as a guest on Oprah, leading Myers on a spiritual quest after the death of his father. The other readings he cites as an influence are Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and Gary Zukav’s Seat of the Soul, along with the complete works of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Then again, does anyone want to hear Mike Myers channeling his self-penned DRAMA philosophy? Or, is he angling to develop the next Scientology or Kabbalah? “You’re not a victim, which is a vicious and insidious cognition,” he was quoted by About.com’s Rebecca Murray. “That’s where I want to get to.”

Mindful of the fact that he was talking to ET Canada, though, Myers swerved into aging Gen Xer schtick to underline his point:

“It’s like Flintstones vitamins, you know? People are eating Barney and Dino, they don’t need to know there are vitamins in it. That’s my favourite delivery system of good ideas.”

The theory of Flintstones chewables — made as they are with aspartame, artificial colours and calcium carbonate — extends to a feature published this week at The Love Guru’s media partner, Beliefnet, where Deepak Chopra is a featured contributor. Responses to reader questions to Guru Pitka have been posted, offering a taste of what moviegoers can expect to hear this weekend, if they dare.

“Training anything is very difficult. Trust me I know, I've got ostriches, elephants and all kinds of other critters running around my ashram like they freaking own the place. And they also refuse to turn the lights off when they leave a room. Annoyyyyying! My electric bill is higher than Guru Maltanto on Chibatar berries.”

That, of course, is just the first part of a response to a woman asking how she can get her husband to put the toilet seat down.

This still isn’t a laughing matter to Sean Clarke of the Spiritual Science Research Foundation, whose claim of being able to calculate the number of demerit points one might receive in the afterlife for making, or even watching, a film like The Love Guru gained some publicity in the process.

But, reached in India, Clarke sounded entirely sincere about his intentions in jumping about the protest train.

“It goes beyond the fact that spirituality is not something to be joked about,” he says. “The movie is being marketed to people in their teens and twenties, and that’s a very influential age. Putting the wrong message across will impact future generations, who will think it’s OK to ridicule this very central pillar of spirituality.

“Gurus were dedicated to destroying the darkness — they weren’t men who wore chastity belts or walked around with erections.”

Clarke actually feels Rajan Zed and his supporters from across the religious spectrum were too passive with their petition.

“Paramount weren’t likely to take heed because they knew any negative reaction from Hindus was going to be expressed peacefully and kindly and legally,” he says. “They could take us to the cleaners because of that. But I’d like to see how they would react if they were threatened with violence.”

The tactic employed by Hindu Janajagruti Samti, an awareness group based in Virginia, was writing to every government-sanctioned agency that was somehow involved in the film business. While the British Film Institute’s assurance that they wanted nothing to do with The Love Guru was initially taken as a nod of support, the BFI had to clarify that it was because they weren’t inclined to support screenings of lowbrow commercial Canadian comedies — regardless of their content. The National Film Board of Canada, meanwhile, didn’t even respond.

Bhavna Shinde of Hindu Janjagruti Samiti — who currently claims 5,000 signatures on an online petition — drove this effort over the cliff last weekend, by issuing a press release announcing a request was filed with the groups in charge of film rating classifications in the United States. Shinde requested changing the designation of The Love Guru from PG-13 to NC-17. This would put the movie in the Motion Picture Association of America category reserved for “violence, sex, aberrational behaviour, drug abuse or any other element that most parents would consider too strong and therefore off-limits for viewing by their children.”

And so, what might have been an opportunity to engage Mike Myers in a compelling grown-up public conversation will be eclipsed by reports next Monday about whether or not The Love Guru sold more popcorn than Get Smart.  


scroll@eyeweekly.com

Marc Weisblott

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